actually was nothing much, really..


i got my pay ytd and was jus fusing over how i should use the money to 'upgrade' my gadgets and stuffs. a geek is not a geek without her gadgets and tools. XD


ytd met with wf to talk abt snco. no matter it was late or not, i really appreciate hers and others' efforts in making all these important seemingly-insignificant efforts behind the scenes. like the underlying waves that will stir a big deal when the time is right! ;)


i was really feeling guilty and lousy because i am supposedly a chapter leader. and yet im still lacking of wisdom and depth and character and experience.


since i've decided that i'd do something(anything, jus something) at the start of this year and also to stop making too many unnecessary considerations, i guess yesterday's talk was another reminder for me to do just that.


yes i need to breakthru this constrain. im a creative ya 'know~!


so after the dialogue, i went to meet my sis.. she said she had a voucher to collect and it has to be at tamp. so i met her there and jus outside the linkway between Tm and Cs, i saw my zaza! and she seemed so shocked and hugged me tight. ohwells, but im happy that she treasure me so. haha.. can i say that it means like this?


yup and shoe hunting begans at that particular shop. after all the mess i made out of myself while trying the shoes, my sis say she didnt see anything tt she fancy. and so i bought a pair and got a $5 discount! better than nothing.. haha..


then we went shopping for clothes and stuffs. in the end, i bought a vest and a 'jacket' for decoration. yay~ im all ready for the switch to school.. hahaha..


and so, i suddenly realised that this year i get to keep my workspace at home without clearing it like previous years for the reunion dinner cuz we're eating out! woohoo~ for both reasons i think.. its a first for the families so i really want it to turn out well. and for being able to keep my workspace messy as it is. i really wanted a personal space but i have to train myself to be able to work in the worst situations. i can do it!

yay: finally over! made it thru with a cracked reed.

nah: a few mistakes made. and lil audience.



maybe i shld be in LLC mode each time we've performance. cuz i realised this helps the band to achieve better results. (in comparisons to past few performace)



why people ask me to look for a boyfriend for them when i asked them for one? though im considered young, but im looking for a boyfriend! not a husband. XD sorry been going thru some stuffs personally. and emotionally. so chosing to be emo about it for some time. think its dumb or whatever. i've feelings too. choosing to ignore it will make it even more difficult to move on.


and ya, just in case (you) didnt know. it was just because of 1 line that you said, i determined your thoughts and thus decided how i shld act. even thou i wonder now if we could be like last time again..

the recruitment came, and went..

YES! SSA Arts and Cultural Groups are recruiting!!

and the two COs were dressed in the same color. o.O muahahahha.. thou our color matches the title of the song we were playing, the other one seems to be more apt as the 'auspicious' color. XD

and the weapon for the final battle of the day was a poster with many images of instruments without EUPHONIUM, CELLO.. tied on a music stand and brownies w guidance, and a laptop with photos old and new..

was quite a successful recruitment as we managed to get 11 BWS to fill in the form. out of which we had a 'pi gu', a bsn/alto player jus like me! haha.. maybe it means tt my mission is up alrdy ba.. (sry no FH wor. XD)

so we all went home in the very hot weather.. :S and my phone died so what i did on the entire journey; i eavsdrop on other pple's conversation and i tot tt that pair of couple/friends/gg-to-be-steads sounded really childish and when they alighted the bus, the girl didnt look like what i imagined. XD (bad ah tu!) after they alighted, ah tu lost her source of entertainment and so i slept.. hahaha.. and i slept so early that i woke up late in the morning.. --" sighs.. i need to be more dilligent wor.


some pictures..


so many ah orhs(brownies)!!! -lets all learn to be good in something so we can contribute too!-




ah orhs closed up.



ah orh's cousin (cakie = cookie + cake) w ice-cream!


nice sunset.. but blurry.. guess where did i take this? answer revealed below...

was practically at home only to sleep during the weekends. Fri was supposed to have hmv but my ywd said she wont be at home thus i didnt tag along my WD. found out only on sunday that she was at home.. said tt her appt was cancelled.. =(

sat we still had our mornin chanting at my zone ldr's hse. chanted for about 1hr45mins since i was late.. :P went home and out of the hse again for performance at HQ.. feel so weird because most of the players were Mrs' Chua's students and some even old players from SWE. and i dunno them lor.. hmmm.. speechless ba.. our performance wasnt very good.. or u can say tt the bsn. player is not very good.. lolx~ clearin up after the mtg, we had 2 extra 'suspicious article' left which belonged to SCC. strange.. wonder how did it end up in HQ.. anw, i hope arrangements will be made to ferry it back to the right place. went home and ended up heartbroken.. argh~~

sun was our CFG rehearsal. 630pm @ TSC, 430pm for all dancers to reach and me as chpt chief woke up at 2pm++.. how wonderful.. --" think its difficult to get rid of my "dead-log".. XDXDXD
quickly prepare bla bla bla and i was still early.. *claps* but i felt like i wasnt part of the prep at all.. what can i do?? haiz.. so then went to pickup the drum w my ymd chpt from meow's hse.. really thankful/luckily/fortunately got to borrow the drum from them.. if not, there'll be more issues tt we need to settle le.. halfway to her place, another YWD NF reached.. and practically the whole event most of the time i was busy doing other things like arranging chairs, walking here and there.. abit scared for the actual day to come yet at the same time, cant wait for it to come n be over.. :S so bad of me. :S








seems like everypost i've written is about me tired.. hahaha.. think friendship is still the most reliable kind of relationship(compared to labu-labu).. thank you meow meow for diggin out all ur songs on 'xin sui'.. ahahha.. quite adorable of u.. *blush*

bookmark from Min-On from my da jie fu.. *note: its the silver dangling thing* it bears the message for me to continue working for world peace by creating good music. i'll strive hard! HAI!

yeah!! concert is over..



BUT...



weiyi didnt come, jinsi didnt come, weiling didnt come, and my dist girls didnt come.. my dist ymd also didnt come..



AND...




i didnt receive any flowers wor.. only some weird person sms me say 'i know you, just that your phone doesnt have the correct combination of 9876543210 of my no.' like duh! meow leng, help!!




BUT...




this is considered OUR first official concert besides playin for impromptu performances, or tgt w Nester they all.. so not bad.. though i missed some notes, a few pitches off, missed a few cues, stoned a lil, everything else was ok..



tired.. after the 'mess' on fri, then the crazy IT show on sat, then the early morning gongyo on sunday.. i will miss the wonderful friendship and the wonderful conductors and the wonderful music we all made together..



though it was really not easy(for me) haha.. cuz i really struggled alot.. both mentally and physically.. wanted to give up many many times.. but i told myself not to.. i always made myself think what would sensei do if he was me? and i think he will take everything to himself without complains and persevere on..



though i'm not so great.. but i managed to really persevere on.. so many things happening to people around makes me realise how important a life is.. and how much we want to achieve is really determined by how much we want it to be achieved.. understand? i juz want to show, show that no matter how great the hurdle, as long as we keep on reminding ourselves of our vow, of our determination each time doubt arises, as long as we have the compassion and wisdom.. we will definitely be able to breakthru our lesser self..




BUT..




i'm so sorry.. i MIGHT have misunderstand... and scolded the wrong person.. maybe what you did was right? maybe it wasnt.. things seems to always be so 'grey' that there's no seperation between right and wrong, good and bad.. my resources in my Pte Ltd de company is used up le i think..




TIRED..



dun wan to create any more bad karma in my life... change change change!!! *like sailormoon eh?* ^^V

since our orchestra is gonna play this.. and someone runs away from the responsibility of playin the solo, i decided to add this vid here.. the girl is courageous! and her voice is terrific.. u can feel every single word that she sings..

Enjoy!

haha!! have not been updating my blog for a week le..


like things have been moving around quite fast.. my mood also change faster than the new year lights.. three thousand realm in a single moment of life.. so fast that i think my brain processor cannot take it le.. wahahahhaha.. so geeky!!

have at least an hour of daimoku a day for now.. and i wonder how can i split myself into many parts so that i can do more things.. =S broke for at least a week alrdy.. and will last until the end of the week.. all cuz of the data recovery lor!! and i even lost some of my songs.. =(


and lots of things pending/stuck at my end. like the anniv book, the program sheet, the ticket( i haven come out with enough design), and now a new one, to design something for the youths rep who will be coming to singapore for 3.16.. not mentioning to be able to pass down properly all the contacts to D3 de ldrs, to complete one round of hmv, to meet up with the new dist, to prac my parts for comin concert, and many many more stuffs to do at work..


hopefully i can complete them and not cause any delay.. inspiration do not come so easily to me leh.. mine is Pte Ltd.. and still rem sec sch days when i was so siao abt band and always bear our slogan in mind.. "Music our inspiration".. till now still ba.. but guess dun have so many passion as compared to the times then..


plus, more and more targets and tasks that i set out to achieve myself.. somehow this becomes a domino effect.. and something needs to be at somewhere to stop the continued effect..


if i weren't a gakkai leader, how would things be? always asking myself this question.. but thinkin back, then i shldnt doubt myself right? trying to be someone where others would want to have around and enjoy talking to.. how? seems to keep creating the opposite effect leh.. =P


concert is coming.. still praying that my weiyi will be able to come down.. really hope.. there's only 1,2,3.. 14 days left.. shld i continue in my wilful prayers? she has always been the one supporting me, encouraging me.. even till now, she hasnt forgot things abt me, showin great concern even abt minor things.. but weiyi, you muz not forget what you have learnt. Please be able to receive all the daimoku from us.. even if one person is not sincere, you musnt be affected because only the true and loyal ones will stay.. looking at all the notes and encouragement that others wrote, i feel both at lost and happy.. happy cuz so many people is united and praying for your speedy recovery.. at lost because those encouragements, i dunno whether they'll make you think of more unnecessary thoughts or whether they really serve their purpose. no matter what, i juz hope that you will continue to live in a way true to yourself.. and stand up soon with an indomitable spirit! though our body may be weak, but our spirit muz be so strong that we remain clear-headed and with a lively spirit.. i will reserve tixs for u orh~~ go into building fund.. muz be near amk!!! hahahaaa..


schedule packed.. muz be packed.. haha.. the thought of concert makes me suddenly dun feel like gg for performance.. i always have nightmare when ther's concert or competition.. like during SYF, NDP al that.. i will dream of the worst scenario that will happen.. =SSSSS


though i cant change how others may think right now, but really need alot of daimoku to ensure the success of the *concert.. of cuz alot of practising as well. really really, cannot and dun wan to see the same thing happen le.. *hen hai pa*


Lets all jia you together ok?

WAH~~ *stretchs* tired tired.. but fulfing day!!



chanted for 5 hrs today.. pro hor~~ faster clap for me.. ahahahhahahaa.. it was really NOT EASY.. my legs ache.. my eyes closing.. my mind wandering.. hahaha.. alot of sanshoshima will attack de lor..



many questions in my mind.. i think a lil of thr 5 hrs dmk went to me also.. :P will be more compassionate to others.. hahaha.. why like this, why like that.. bla bla bla.. :P



then met des to teach him some stuff.. actually i also not pro at all.. anyhow fake through.. hahaha.. but at least i helped him understand a lil and know how to use it better neh.. yea! not bad hor.. he cant go for prac cuz of his many assignments, and projs.. so many pple cant make it prac today.. =(



guess the attendance?




*drum rolls*




13! so lil.. thats like the scenario when we juz changed to orchestra few yrs back.. the familiar scenario.. we played lousily lor.. i also.. but precisely cuz we're in a small grp, we tend to interact more and make prac more fun.. right? esp. the part wher the drumset supposed to play but our t-bonist keep going "zi-dun zi-dun", as if they're real beatboxer.. haha.. :P funny leh to laugh at them.. but our percussionist muz jia you lo!! cuz the tempo seems to be slowing down, slower than the conductor which makes it diff for me to concentrate and play in unison..



moved the instruments down to the main hall downstairs after prac.. something hit me again.. i dun understand.. but i will try to understand the intention of the person.. =) trusted comrade!! finally we tied lil yellow ribbons on the instruments for indentification.. OURS!! OURS OK~ its our weapon for bringing the bread home.. hahaha.. no la.. jkjk..



finally gg home le.. the thought of gg home alone, on the train w/o my khakis made me so sad.. =( but luckily i managed to hitch a ride! hahaha.. then saw the rest of them waiting for bus outisde when the car passed by which made me so guilty.. but well, they dun come every prac also.. haahaha..



seriously many things to do.. and i think i wait wait wait until not enough time le.. hai.. yao jia you lo~ i want to be able to play every single note correctly and on beat during the concert.. really lookin forward cuz its like another of my official concert playin bassoon.. i regard this more importantly cuz i feel more confident abt my playing and also more attached to the music and the instrument itself.. and of cuz the new dress code that we have! wanna find out? then come for the concert!!


haha.. tixs r not free btw... we'll be collecting ANY amt tt u wanna donate.. which the whole of this sum will go to the building fund of our new building.. which is to accomodate to the increasing membership and also better facilities for us. SUPPORT US! SUPPORT ME OK??


haha.. so much so... i shall end here.. -.-zzz nightz my friends!

today is sat!! SATURDAY == SNCO DAY..



went out of hse earlier to get my bsn reed case.. bras brasah de escalator spoil!! they shld renovate the whole building lor.. its such an old building le.. and the escalator breaks down very often also.. plus the crowd gg there is increasing lor..


went to the shop to get my things.. quite alot of pple.. cuz they're havin sale on guitar and accessories.. hai.. everytime i go there i will be like 'sigh...' cuz the things there are quite ex neh.. so xin tong.. but no choice.. since i think another place is at IMM which is super far and they're not open on sats.. i purchase it for $55 after discount and after 7% GST charge.. argh.. the GST is like $3.00+ lor..


reached scc like 5 mins before 330.. boarded the same bus w shini also.. so cute she, forgot to bring her reed today.. too bad bsn and oboe de reed cannot use tgt.. :P


play quite lousily today.. like my brain ar, only bring half out of the hse.. but my mood is quite good actually.. perhaps i chanted alot today.. yea.. chanted quite alot.. considering it is a saturday.. :P oops!


oh ya! forgot to mention that i got a 'qing tian bi li' phone call tt wakes me up.. hai.. you yi dian shang xin, you yi dian hou hui, you yi dian bu zhi shuo cuo.. maybe i really have a greater mission
somewhere else.. but really have to tell myself that everywhere i go is the same, is to contribute to kosen-rufu, is to help sensei, is to show actual proof in my own lives, show to other people..


yea.. so had comm mtg.. saw sandy doin deco for CNY! wah. my cheese de donation box.. so nice~~ ^^V hahaha.. thanks for makin my dream come true!! =)


comm mtg.. hmmm.. discuss bout lots of things.. and left lots of things unsettled in my mind.. feeling like i hasn't done anything.. in terms of contacting those i'm supposed to contact.. hai..
i'm not like wad some pple think i am.. matured, dependable, good la.. wadever.. hahaha..


orch prac.. not very good for me eh.. hasnt prac jiu combined le.. really disppointed w myself..
need to prac more.. i cannot come to a standstill.. i muz show actual proof!! saxophone also play bu hao.. bassoon jiu bu ke yi like this le.. yaya!! yao jia you orh~


after today, i think i really have alot of flaws in this 'diamond' of mine lor.. why is it that i am able to say until -so good, so good- to encourage people, but when it happens to me, i jus wanna shrink or let my emotions control me? haha.. weird.. like my processor abit slow kind.. need some time to slow down, think and then work on things i ought to..


weiyi is hospitalised again! on thurs? thurs morning.. went to visit her.. hai.. seeing her makes me feel sad..makes me feel that i have not done enough.. feel like being unable to provide any encouragement to her, for her to stand up again.. borrow discman from cong cong to lend weiyi.. understand tt she feels bored.. if me i'll be feelin at the depths of earth.. :P but end up the drawer cant be locked! hai.. zhen ke xi.. her ward too noisy le lor.. and she couldnt get enough rest.. hai.. bu xiang wo.. sleep alrdy jiu like pig like tt.. :P


then sat lor.. somebody took car leave us in the lurch.. hmpf!!!! took train home.. saw jiu jian, cat & son @ the bus stop.. they actually left before us lor.. and and.. i realise that i dun really have to set up chairs and stands le!! i got alot of 'maria' to help me.. wahahahahaha!! no la.. juz tt they actually took the initiative lor.. so good~.. i mean ya.. cuz then it'd be more like teamwork..


ya.. comtemplating whether this or that.. haha.. dunno what i'm talking.. but i feel rather mixed up sometimes.. hai.. chant more ba! do what i need to.. ther's not much time left!!! mei shi jian~ hao le, i gtg le!! wan an!

yoyo!! hahaa....




i'm mad..



weiyi is hospitalised again.. =(
went to visit her.. and chanted w her at the hospital for awhile.. dunno wad to say to encourage her.. when i see her in this state, i will feel very sad.. i need to be stronger lor.. muz fight with her!! wo de weiyi yao jia you!!

recently a lot of things happening recently.. (like i'm always saying like this neh..) been thinkin alot recently.. went to hq on wed to chant and met HK there also.. then she showed me a book from MOE for their anniv.. very nice lor~ if only we can do someting tt standard for our photo book also.. but they sell $50 bucks alot.. a lil high end neh..

then we went off tgt to take bus.. so got some time to chit chat on the bus abt many things.. i think i'm one who's not good at talkin.. ther's also some -silence- after a certain topic.. with many pple also.. mus read more to widen my knowledge so i wont be frog-in-the-well.. =D

learnt many things from her and also once again set my principles of.. myself.. haha.. sort out many doubts that i have.. and also many new experiences for me..

this year will be another exciting year.. but whether it will be fruitful will depend on me again..

had prac today..(SAT) after 2 weeks of MIA.. like quite a few changes.. maybe i shldnt go for prac so ther'll be more changes..? hahha... like UK was back.. KL was back as well, brought his bro along.. and Mr wu's string increase alot in strength.. not bad mah.. haha.. but, i'm still ALONE..

i think i'm used to playin alone le.. if ther's one more player, maybe i'll be more confused.. hai.. but really hope that there'll be one more person to play with me..

somehow got the hang to reading the clef and fingerings.. i think i got the same prob when playin sax, that is playing the high and low notes.. the middle range i'm already quite comfortable le.. =)

i need bassoon reed case.. can anyone tell me wher can i get? i check w yamaha and WF's teacher le also dun have.. sob sob sob.. i dun wan to spend so much money gettin new reeds.. HELP!!!



hao ba, jiu write dao zhe li.. stay tuned!! =)

So sorry tt i got to blog AGAIN today..


found/founded this vid of Nester Torres performing Morigasaki Kaigen together with a chinese flutist and a pianist..

wonderful combination of jazz, latin jazz and chinese style of morigasaki.. they played this piece infront of sensei.. woohoo~ enjoy..

yeayea!! and sob sob.. cuz the weekends came and go again.. i miss my sat and sun!!

muz share w u'll this song which meow shared w me.. hahaha. dun blink ur eye! cuz she put it on her blog also la.. this song is saying that whatever our dreams and goals may be, be it as impossible as to fly up to be side-by-side with the sun, or as if we raise our hands we'll be able to touch the sky but we muz believe in ourselves, that we can do it!

我相信

想飞上天和太阳肩并肩
世界等着我去改变
想做的梦从不怕别人看见
在这里我都能实现
大声欢笑让你我肩并肩
何处不能欢乐无限
抛开烦恼勇敢的大步向前
我就站在舞台中间

我相信我就是我
我相信明天
我相信青春没有地平线
在日落的海边
在热闹的大街
都是我心中最美的乐园

我相信自由自在
我相信希望
我相信伸手就能碰到天
有你在我身边让生活更新鲜
每一刻都精采万分
i do believe

-----------------------------------

yup.. so last sat was the first prac after the break and concert w nester.. i feel so blur and lost.. maybe cuz too long nv touch my instrument.. for winds, our attendance are almost stable, for strings quite a few didnt attend.. also cuz the absence of GY and Martin tt it seems like less pple.. i think HW also feel weird ba.. he say he cant play w/o martin.. zhen shi xiong di qing shen..

well, dun to JW patience, i managed to play ok~ haha.. xie xie!! it was tough.. but i will persevere on!

so one of the A&C committee de chiefs Allen came.. he had the comm mtg tgt w us and brought his daughter as well!! sweet lil girl.. very hyper and like to make faces~ and he joined in the prac as well and shared w us this story which i've heard for the 3rd time.. :P

so it goes:

ther was 2 youths riding on a motorbike.. they drove and stop at a traffic light. so they looked into the car beside them and thought they saw Ikeda sensei. so they said :"Hello! Aren't you Ikeda sensei? Hello! Hello!"

they were very happy to be able to meet sensei even by the roadside because it was not easy to see sensei even in Japan itself. so sensei acknowledge them and the traffic light turned green and they proceed in two different directions.

so sensei asked the leader together with him in the car, who happened to be the GD of Soka Gakkai now and the YMD chief then, to find the names, chapter and dist of those 2 youths. the YMD chief was stunned but he didnt not mention to sensei but promised to look for those 2 youths whom they juz met for a moment, doesn't know of their name, and did not catch their bike plate number as well.

but indeed he found those 2 youths and sensei asked the leader to pass some gifts and encouragement to the 2 youths, wanting to encourage them. in fact, these 2 youths had graduated from high school and due to some difficulties they did not pursue their studies further. upon receiving the encouragement from sensei, they vowed to pursue their studies and become capable person.

so these 2 youths worked hard, and with their first pay from their job, they meet again and got a fountain pen for sensei as a gift of gratitude.

and sensei invited them to attend the HQ leaders mtg which is a very rare opportunity for members to attend.

eventually these 2 youths became capable leaders of the Gakkai and they are still workin hard for the members.
------ End ------

this story is to let us know more of sensei's heart. why sensei is doin so much to encourage the youths and why are the youths able to respond back to sensei in the best way? lets ponder~~!!


sunday came.. wanted to go for morning gongyo.. but by the time i woke up it was 8am.. so, hehe.. reached tbsc at 920 laidat? saw tricia @ the mass dance booth.. hahahahahaha.. so went to chit chat with her.. :P

i went to tbsc to attend my zone youth ldrs mtg la.. not to chit chat.. so i went.! it was not many, nor lil pple.. maybe 10 per chpt laidat? but the entire mtg was so enrichin and wonderful..

we learned many many things from Max's workshop.. and this guys'(cuz i forgot his name.. oops!) magic show..

and juz got to know that we'll be havin a mentor-and-disciple fest & NHR fest coming up!! so excited..

then QY shared his testi and also played guitar for us.. so touched.. it is indeed music from the heart lor.. got to learn from him!!

and lastly YZ shared on "jigyo ketai"; practice for oneself and another..

and went to meet ML at vivo for makan.. wanna find a good place on sun afternoon to eat also veri diff wor..

and finally to jinsi's place for her "advanced" bird-dae celeb.. hahaa..

hahaha.. i summarise everything until cannot summarise le.. so erm.. i think i type an entry too long.. so u'll also read until @_@.. ahha.. yeayea.. anyone wanna go k-box? Desmond says ther's an offer.. go go go!!

updates updates!! its been a few weeks since i update.. erm.. i really have goldfish memory.. cant really rem exactly wad i've done.. but roughly.. juz had our concert.. to me, it was pretty well cuz me and gerald was in tune!! wahaha.. even though his 'dolce' doesn't sound veri 'dolce' but i still learnt alot from him.. he was talkin to this 2 violinist and the topic from age changed to their studies/results.. he told them something like this:"in gakkai, the result is not as impt. the most impt thing is you've try ur best" wow.. veri encouragin rite? den the cute tommy boy boy say :"if you try you will regret." den i was like ?? he continues :"try is different from do. you muz do your best not try.." wow! this guy is smart ar.. but his potential is not manifested in the correct direction/fully. he is musically veri inclined. he can play his cello/piano very well.. juz tt he doesn't prac faith properly.. else his music/ skills will really touch pple's heart and also contribute to kofu..

attachment reaches its final week in an blink of an eye.. seems only like last wk tt i entered e company. i've decided to stay on! this is because i feel tt i need to learn and grow more.. to polish my character and do my human revolution. of cuz i need to pray for time to do kofu as well.. i'm facing many challenges this year.. daimoku, prayers, action, advance! yi ding ke yi de..

we'll be havin our concert again on july.. i wan to get a full instrumentation at least 2 months before the concert.. am determined tt this time it will be s great victory.. and i will do a dmk chart again.. but for everyone individually.. hope i'll not disappoint all of u.. =) basically, i'm quite enjoyin my work.. but i really need more time!! and more money. no time to shop for new year or clear my hse.. so it looks like a pig sty.. well, in collaboration with pig yr mah.. haha..

will be posting some of my 'exclusive' pics next post cuz now my phone cant upload.. so look out for this space!! hehe.. i'm so excited.. are you? gotta go.. tata!!

wEiLi ^^