woo~ it seems like i've not been updating the blog for awhile. maybe because i was busy clearing my last min work. :P


anw, i have been feeling as if the rock in my head and my heart has been lifted for the past few days. read my past articles and you will feel how low i was feeling.


i dunno if the change was due to daimoku, due to dialogues with others, due to encouragements, due to ichinen or due to magic..?


maybe it was right to decide that i'd fall to hell to experience what it is. although i hasnt been there, but i think its enough for now. ;) jus in case i'd take longer to get up and then i would have brought trouble to others and delay the delivery of happiness.


perhaps, i've brought myself so much unhappiness that i thought it wasnt worth it. so now, i must work hard to maintain this liveliness and ensure that i will not trouble others. at least, at least, i've a small goal of my own to achieve. and thru all these, i realised my life was too smooth. at least i've made it seem so smooth! hehe.. so i'd really like to look at it in a different perspective.


i will not attempt to go to 'hell' again but instead, i want to be able to get at least a taste of it when i am doing my rounds. no big words, no big dreams but its a step ahead at a time.


and so im 'activated' -- then i initiated a meetup with my counterparts. they're great people and i've learnt alot from them. alot from their spirit, from the way they are, from the way this practice has enabled them to be the best they can be. although i am still pondering why i cant be the way i was a few yrs before, i'm convinced that things will not go back to the way it was because it'll definitely result in something thats even better!


because i've great comrades who've supported me in the past 2 years, i mus not give up too. because i've lives yet to touched, i will continue. do what you need to do is the most impt. dun think too much and yet, ponder deeply! :D