boo!!! haha.. enjoyed and slacked thru the weekends.. was glad i left.. but somehow, devilish functions attacked me and i started to slack.. even though i have so many things to do and so lil time.. its always ironic isn't it?

sigh.. had a bad orch. prac.. cried.. like ml, i also dunno y i cry.. juz feel like cryin? or maybe i'm juz not strong at all.. hai.. got to seriously think and consider what constitute a good leader and what is the best steps i can take to enable growth of even just another person.. hai.. i shld reflect and not complain.. grow!! jia you!

had a wonderful and yet quite regretful friday.. =P but was really glad i went down angela ah ma's birthday and had a chance to expand my life yet again! thank you ivan! for letting me get closer to my primepoint.. and really pray that you will grow! i'm sure you will become a capable person of kosen-rufu.. and will take whatever to ensure that.. this is the spirit of sensei..

missed morning gongyo.. the devil inside me is getting strong!~ haha.. muz make sure i buck up.. cannot waste time like i do in the past.. hai.. i muz reflect upon myself.. heard so much about Ikeda sensei these few days that i tell myself i cannot stay like this again..

one most touching ep:"Sensei was touring around this museum where they have statues of great pple and he saw his own statue. meaning sensei saw statue of himself right infront of him. so he pat the statue and said to it:' you are not working hard enough. Please work harder.' this really makes me wanna cry.. all of us know how much efforts sensei has been putting in.. his efforts increasing with his age and yet he say this.." how many of us actually look back and say that we have not done enough.. seriouly guilty.. as his disciple, i cannot do anything even to help me mentor fulfill his wish.. why and how is this so? truly regretful..

my iic says:"to have our members heart, it is foremost important to have sensei's heart." because everything sensei does is for the happiness of the members. ask myself: do i have sensei's heart? i don think so..

talkin for so long, i muz set down to action.. not juz empty talk.. set specific prayers.. to find a good paying and value-creating job by next month. be able to foster growth in NYPSD and SNCO. great success in all members' and leaders' lives. and truly seeking and feeling for mentor in life. =)