ah +o( is wrong!! honto gomanasai!!!


i guess i found out the reason y i was in a slump for so long.. during ytd's mtg it was shared that we should never read a guidance and think that "oh.. i know this is for xxx.." , "oh this guidance is not for me". so when i open up today's guidance and read, i told myself, yup i shld look at this seriously and apply into my life.


the primepoint or the pivot of my life was always the gohonzon or sensei.. until some time back, (dunno when), i realised that i could not reach the HLC that i had nor the enthusiasm.. as learnt in 'The Dragon Gate', perhaps im like one of the carps.. that got shot by fisherman or eaten by birds.


because since that dunno when, i've used a person as a 'destination', made someone my primepoint of life.. perhaps then in my mind i alrdy thought that i could never become someone like sensei and achieve happiness. then i switched to a person thinkin that i could breakthru and work harder.. and as time passed, i guess i fail terribly..


very tired.. i need to revitalise! and only my ywds can enable me to do so i think.. once again seeing my ywd so active n happy made me realise tt it was not my efforts then but it was due to her own seeking spirit and realisation.. i mus have said this many times.. but as said ytd, we muz repeat ourselves to drum things into our heads. XD


gambarimasu usagi!